Top 5 Crimes Committed by Squirrels

You love to watch them frolic in the park, eat pine cones and even water ski. They’re so beloved they’ve overcome their unfortunate classification as rodents to leap their way into American hearts. Who doesn’t love squirrels? People who’ve been terrorized by squirrels, that’s who. Squirrels have you right where they want you, America, because the only thing squirrels love more than being the object of public adulation is pulling off major crimes. Dogs have been trying to warn us for decades, and we didn’t listen.
Top 5 Crimes Committed by Squirrels
You love to watch them frolic in the park, eat pine cones and even water ski. They’re so beloved they’ve overcome their unfortunate classification as rodents to leap their way into American hearts. Who doesn’t love squirrels? People who’ve been terrorized by squirrels, that’s who. Squirrels have you right where they want you, America, because the only thing squirrels love more than being the object of public adulation is pulling off major crimes. Dogs have been trying to warn us for decades, and we didn’t listen.
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Joe Donatelli is a freelance writer. Follow him @joedonatelli.